This has been a week of supporting clients, and friends, in relishing the gift of the next stage of life. So many don’t have the opportunity of that experience. It truly is a blessing. Whether moving into marriage, or divorce, a job change, loss of a life partner, or retirement and opening a new business, there is a reason we are still here. There is also a reason we are being called to more. It’s time to live life more fully.
For so many of us, the past was dictated by what we should do, who we should be, and what our lives should look like. Frequently, it is only when we are moving into another phase of life that we realize we actually get to choose who we want to become and how we want to get there. That level of freedom can be scary as well as exhilarating.
In speaking with someone today, it was a wonderful reminder to see that in any new phase of life we don’t know the rules; we don’t have all the answers; we don’t even have all the questions. It takes time to feel our way through, to become familiar with new territories. In the process not only are we learning a new way to see the world, and our role in it, we are also learning new guidelines and new ways of being.
Who you were in high school is not who you are at your first job or your first year of college. Not only are the rules different, so aren’t the expectations, the dreams, and the responsibilities. With every new phase: single living, a committed relationship, parenting, job growth, job change or expansion, empty nest, retirement, new lifestyle, new career, you name it, they all call us to be the new kid on the block. We are innocent of the realities in a new world while not knowing how to play the game. It’s an adventure calling us to be open, to be inquisitive, to grow, and to face new challenges…
My wish for every one of us is that we have permission to be human in each shift. That we have permission to make mistakes, to suddenly be tentative after years, or even decades, of confidence and success at a lifestyle and phase of life we had come to know well. The important thing to remember is that no matter what phase you are leaving, you had to learn how to live in that one also. There was a time when you felt insecure, frightened, and excited while also struggling to look confident, as if you had it all figured out and fit in easily.
Putting exacting demands on ourselves makes the shift far more difficult than it needs to be. Have permission to tentatively walk forward into your future. Have permission, from yourself, to not know all the specifics. Learn to ask questions, to bring in support, and to recognize that you have the right to be acknowledged as you feel your way through.
Before you know it, you will be the secure, confident one who understands the new rules, even if you don’t ever plan to follow them. You will be the one others turn to for guidance, support, and a kick in the butt if needed.
Whether guiding or being guided, in every phase of life there is a new opportunity to soar, to reflect, and to come alive like never before. Go for it!!!! Call or email if you are facing a life- altering shift and want support along the way. I’m here!
