The Life You Built is Speaking to You
This life you are living - did you choose it, or did you arrive here by default?
A moment of truth… Not harsh. Not judgmental. Just honest.
A family member appears to be close to the end of his life. It may happen tomorrow, it may happen months from now. All we know is that things are precarious.
The situation causes me to think about life itself. About the life we choose, the one we chose, the life we are currently living, and the one we want to create going forward.
One thing I have certainly learned about life is that it is not a series of random events.
It is the result of a pattern of repeated choices and beliefs you have developed over your lifetime. Most of us however are living the accumulation of unconscious decisions.
Frequently, I hear people say: “I didn’t really choose it; I fell into it.” As if that dissolves them of any responsibility for where they are, the relationships they are in, or the job they have. As an aside, please know when I say “responsibility” I never think in terms of blame, fault, or anything else. Take judgment out of everything, EVERYTHING. Judgment is too common and too pretentious. Having responsibility simply means: “I chose to respond this way.” Period!
How you make those choices can be consciously and with some thought, spontaneously, or even unconsciously.
The first can be fun, solid, and logical, with one or all three adjectives.
The second can be because of fun, fear, or confusion.
The third option is frequently what we deny making.
If you have been unconscious in creating the life you have, whether in your personal or professional life, it’s important to know:
What you tolerate becomes your life script
What you avoid becomes your limitation
What you believe becomes your identity - your view of the world – and of how you exist in this world.
This life you have created will naturally evolve, change, and expand in ways you cannot yet anticipate, whether you like that reality or not.
The objective is to know that at the end, every element of it is the result of the choices you have made. Look back with joy, pride, and awe at the life you have created. Filled with joys, loss, adventures, challenges, and always, decisions that you made, hopefully far more consciously even if spontaneously than unconsciously. Those come from fear, avoidance, and denial. Consciously choosing life, adventure, and love is so much sweeter.
Ask yourself: What have I been saying yes to that no longer reflects who I am? What about my life do I need or want to change? To expand? How do I want to do that? What am I choosing not to see?
You never need to start over, you’ve developed so much wisdom, and knowing. You don’t need a new life. You need a conscious relationship with the one you’ve already created.
A potential client said to me this morning, “I want to retire, not quit work. I want a new adventure.” That’s a conscious choice…
