What Would Make You Facinating To You Again
Hello there. This may seem like an odd thought and an even odder question but what the heck…
When did we get so serious? Successful people can become terribly responsible. Everything has a purpose, a goal, a metric, or an outcome. What happened to doing something simply because it delights us? Play is an essential part of remaining alive, creative, sensual, curious, and fully human. Look at our gorgeous babies… Girlfriends and I laugh in every conversation. One of the most frequent comments I hear from girlfriends is “You always make me laugh.” Even during a family crisis, an illness, a break-up, whatever. Laughter can be avoidance, but it can also be about keeping things clear.
Humor and faith are the absolutely two most needed qualities to get through this journey of ours. I have no idea how folks without either can make it through. With a great deal of illness, I would imagine. There is humor in everything if we are willing to see it. Having been a chaplain in an Emergency Room, it was clear that the dark humor there was necessary to keep the staff from collapsing with all the horror they saw. For most of us, however, humor simply keeps things in perspective while providing a touch of joy.
Thus, in taking it even further, the question is how do you become interesting to yourself again? Instead of asking, “What should I do next?” ask: “What would make me fascinating to myself again?” It keeps things light, expansive, and so very interesting while you keep unfolding on a consistent basis. Take tango lessons. Study astronomy. Learn Italian. Go somewhere alone. Write something outrageous. Change your hair. Invite six strangers to dinner. Not because any of it advances your career - but because it expands you. If any or all of this sounds absolutely exhausting – oh my – we have work to do. Not your choices, however? No problem, it simply means you need to get creative.
This may sound ridiculous but let me explain. I love rituals as well as anyone. Get up - do bathroom duties - brush my teeth - mouthwash – shower – dry my hair - get dressed - make the bed, go downstairs - put on tea water - repeat daily. I got it. However, when the rest of the day is equally on repeat, complacency, predictability (not to be confused with stability), and boredom arrive quickly. Standing in mud and eventually cement becomes a lifestyle. Just like roses we are meant to keep growing, keep being challenged in the nicest of ways to expand who we are, our reach, our impact, and our lives.
Have you noticed your kids telling you that as an aunt, uncle, or grandparent you’re the same as they knew you yet not? Why? You grew. And now your impact is growing into another generation. What do you want that impact to be? Fascinating would be a wonderful gift.
An extremely impactful result, is that you may also find it improves your relationships. It makes your approach to your work so much less tedious or exhausting and it keeps the details of life in perspective. You have no time to get caught in the mundane and deadening details.
Fascinating means change, new adventures, new outlooks, added experiences and knowledge. When you choose the area, it is not exhausting or a burden. It is life-giving, freeing, and perhaps even exhilarating. Don’t push it too far so you have permission to quit, just far enough to feel the freedom you are called to and your relationships thrive on. Enjoy!
