Resilience is a trait many of us know about, some of us have developed, and still others may have discarded as useless or perhaps not an important or necessary skill. However, every one of us has gone through experiences that have knocked us on our butts. Whether personal or professional, divorce, job loss, bankruptcy, serious illness, or a forced major life change, they each can cause us to lose sight of who we are and how to survive for a period of time. How short or long that period is, depends in great part, on our ability for resilience.
When we have the illusion of being in control of our lives, we can be horrifically caught off guard by the predictably unpredictable occurrences that happen to all of us. Knowing that this too shall pass can make it far easier to go through. Not easy necessarily, but easier than what it could be without that realization. In addition, when we come through the other side of a difficult situation, we can come to see that we are bigger than anything that happens to us, than any experience we go through. The by-products of these experiences are resilience, confidence, and perhaps in spite of ourselves, competence. Recognition of the many times we have seen ourselves coming out on the other side continuously confirms “I can do this.” Whatever “this” is.
For those who are willing to jump into life in new ways, knowing you are going to be OK, that you will bounce back if it doesn’t work and fly if it does, resilience becomes the tool and permission-giver to follow your dreams, to explore new territory, and to become so much more of what you are capable of. There is a freedom in knowing ‘I will be OK.” It means as well that you have moved beyond the fear of judgment, at least to the extent that it impedes you living the life you want. That independence, that willingness to live out of the box and explore more of you, of the world, and of what is possible is what takes our culture, our world, and our potential to levels we never imagined.
Think of the character development that occurs when we are willing to join groups, to try new things, to enter communities we never imagined belonging to. If it doesn’t work out, you can walk away. If something doesn’t work, you tried. Better to know that then spending your life wondering. You will be fine no matter what. And you continuously recognize that you can try something else, reach for another star, attempt another business, another trip, and/or another relationship. You gave them your all and if something” fails” you win anyway because you are more of you than when you started and more self-aware.
Yes, resilience is a gift we all need to strive for. It is a gift of strength and freedom we give ourselves and all those we love. They get to see the better and more improved version of us and all we have achieved. Whether that achievement is making bread, making a fortune, or living one more day, it is worth the effort and the freedom to fully live. We can claim each risk, each journey, and each “win” as a badge of honor for having known that no matter what happened we would be “OK.” Resiliency makes all that possible!
